Either way, I hate that I keep spinning my mental wheels on something so trivial and ordinary and... unenlightening. Can I not think of something more important?
It has gotten so bad that I find myself getting excited about the grocery mailers that come in the mail. (I know that they arrive every Tuesday.) I pour over them and make imaginary lists, then compare between stores. Then I throw it all in the recycling bin, because the lists are always so expansive that I could never afford them. They also seem wasteful some how. I get frustrated when I am working the checkout and someone (usually mothers, I'll wager) come through and get seven to ten bags of food. Does anyone really NEED all of that? I have never been a mother, so I don't know. My dog only eats one thing. (Dog food)
I also hate that I do this because I finally got back down to my driver's license weight, kind of without trying. It was at a time when money was extremely tight and I had to ration what I had. Sometimes I made the free samples at the store into a meal. At that time though, I drank tons of water, took vitamins, and rarely thought about food. I even cut out dinner some, and it was great. I felt wonderful. Now all of a sudden, I have this obsession, and I have no idea from whence it came.
Is there such a thing as online therapy? I would like to get back to thinking of more important things, like spirituality, inner peace, writing snailmail letters to people, or horses.
Criminy, I need help.
